Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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