oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
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