I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
