Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize