He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
