Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
