Where is the hickey?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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