i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
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