You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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