drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
