something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
