During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
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Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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