this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
