Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
