What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I want her autograph on my taint
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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