Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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