i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
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