i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
