i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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