have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
