Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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