dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize