well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Randomize
