I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
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