Have you finally orgasmed yet?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
