It's like a parade of train wrecks.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Randomize
