So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I am available for nakedness
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
