Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
