His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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