I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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