he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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