I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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