Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
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She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
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Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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