I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
