I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
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