I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Randomize
