I wish I could punch you in the face.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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