Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
