Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
