Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Randomize
