I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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