I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
