well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
