i don't plan on having that self control this summer
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I just googled if crying burns calories
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Randomize