The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
