im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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