She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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