The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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