that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
