i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Semen is not good for contacts.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Randomize
