: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
