What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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