Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
