Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
