Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
