kristin has been a bad kristin
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
My breath smells like gin and sadness
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
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