Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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