wat bout pragnant strippers??
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
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