The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
