There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
